Just addressing the issue
Okay, this is going to be short and sweet because I have to go get ready for Church still. But I felt that this is a really important issue that we should all be aware of. Guys, we have to be so careful of cliques. They are so easy to see when you stand back and look at the Youth and/or when you're not in them. I know we're tight as a group, but we shouldn't let that make us cliquey and exclude others. Cliques are so easy to form, and they can really ruin Youth Groups.
I remember not liking Junior High Youth just for the reason of it being too cliquey. No one would dare to step out of their comfort zone to talk to me. Then when I went to Senior High I was amazed at how open the people were. That really made me want to go to Youth and as a result I have been drawn closer to God. Had it not been for those who weren't cliquey I may have not liked Senior High just like when I was in Junior High.
And do we not see enough cliques at school? Well, aren't we as Christians supposed to be different? I think I remember reading before that having good friends are fine, but we need to put our fists in and say "Break!" and split up to welcome other people. We have to be there to serve rather than to be served. All of our needs have been met. We should put others' needs before our own.
Due to my reorganized thoughts of this subject, I feel the best thing to do wouldn't be to pray against "cliques" (as I originally suggested). We should pray that we could be so filled with the Holy Spirit that we would reach out to others and show God's love to everybody.
Thanks for your time,
Sharilyn Christie
I remember not liking Junior High Youth just for the reason of it being too cliquey. No one would dare to step out of their comfort zone to talk to me. Then when I went to Senior High I was amazed at how open the people were. That really made me want to go to Youth and as a result I have been drawn closer to God. Had it not been for those who weren't cliquey I may have not liked Senior High just like when I was in Junior High.
And do we not see enough cliques at school? Well, aren't we as Christians supposed to be different? I think I remember reading before that having good friends are fine, but we need to put our fists in and say "Break!" and split up to welcome other people. We have to be there to serve rather than to be served. All of our needs have been met. We should put others' needs before our own.
Due to my reorganized thoughts of this subject, I feel the best thing to do wouldn't be to pray against "cliques" (as I originally suggested). We should pray that we could be so filled with the Holy Spirit that we would reach out to others and show God's love to everybody.
Thanks for your time,
Sharilyn Christie
posted by Sharilyn at 7:21 AM
11 Comments:
So much for that being short and sweet :)
I second that. (not the short and sweet part,..well kinda)
Hmmm...I see what your saying. I still think that whole concept of cliques is kinda dumb. I have never heard or read anything in Scripture that had anything to do with a clique. When I first came to Hillsdale cliques didn't even cross my mind. The problem was me. I shouldn't expect others to be willing to go out of their comfort zones to meet and talk to me if I am not willing to go out of my comfort zone to meet and talk to other people. I think the best thing to do is stop getting distracted by the word "clique" and follow Christ's example. We need to love others, we need to care about others, and we need to let the Holy Spirit live through us. When we do this, the Holy Spirit will show us how to act towards "outsiders" and we will be living an example that will encourage those "outsiders" to come in and see what they are missing. People will not feel like outsiders if we are acting in the fruit of the Holy Spirit towards them. So we need to let the Holy Spirit govern our thoughts and actions, and the whole cliques thing won't be a worry. If anyone struggles with giving this worry or anxiety to God, then pray as Phil 4:6-7 says.
Okay, I always think this topic is a bit sketchy, only because I have always wanted to say something about it, but I don't want to offend anybody. I agree with you Sharilyn, but I agree with Josh too. I think it is a very big step for people, especially non christians to come to our youth group, where they generally only know about one person. That can be kind of hard for them and I wouldn't expect them to go around introducing themselves to everyone. I don't think that it should be their job. But I also think it is super hard to try and be friends with someone if they don't really have anything to say. It is hard to make any connections and have some common ground to talk about. I think that meeting a new person works both ways: we should talk to them, even approach them and make the first move, and the person should be wanting to make friends. And of course we do need to show them what God's love is all about. It is just that sometimes I don't really think our youth makes a complete effort to include everyone. I know, that some people will be better friends with other people than others, that is just the way that things work. But we are all friends which I am really happy about. I am sooooo thankful for our youth group and I really appreciate all the support from everyone.
Love you in Christ, Allesha
Thanks for helping me with trying to understand this whole concept better, guys. Yeah, I totally get what you guys are saying and I agree with you about casting all your anxiety on Him and showing God's love to all. I also have been kind of skeptical about mentioning this topic as some clearly have different thoughts about the whole idea of "cliques" and I really do appreciate it when your comments help me sort out my own thoughts of the entire thing.
Side note: I didn't make this post to make me sound all smart or to say all of my thoughts are right or anything like that. I am just a normal human being who has been struggling with this idea and I really think we should be open about things like this. I'm sure you all understand, and I really hope that although we challenge each other on things like this we don't feel like this is discouragement but rather the opposite (encouragement), so we may keep working through these issues and continue pressing on.
wow, lotta discussion goin' on here. It's our God given duty to love people. I go to a ton of churchs (while on vication) and I've seen a lot of different groups/cliques (I will take two sides, there is such thing as a clique, but a clique is just people who are not, or (could be)that are afraid to genuinly accepting someone...). The best churchs that I remember going to are the one's where the youth group is totally accepting and non-judgemental and makes me so comfortable that I can speak and not feel like I'm out of place.
That's showing God's love. Josh, I don't think that it was really your fault that we didn't really get to know you till this summer. All I really know is that we did not do enough to invite you in and make you feel comfotable.
I hope this made since.
kara.
All of this discussion is very good. I am sorry if I came across badly in my last comment. Everything you guys are saying is good. I agree with Allesha when she says that it can be hard to get to meet new people but that it works best when both people are willing to make friends. When I first came to Hillsdale I wanted to get to know people better but I was scared to talk to them. I wonder what people thought of me before I got to know them, and I am sure that whatever it was it was not who I really am. But if I expect people to see who I really am, than I have to be willing to share and open up, and make friends. What you said, Caroline, was really good. Well said, and a wonderful example of the sermon. We should be others oriented, and if the human idea of "cliques" causes some to stumble, then we need to not do it by praying against it and clothing oursleves with the Holy Spirit. I didn't mean to sound like it's their responsibility to bring themselves into the group Caroline, and I agree with you that most of them are convinced that we have no interest in them at all. I know I was when I first came. But at the same time, people saying hello to me and asking me how I was doing and me telling them good and them having now idea what to say after that didn't help either of us. Although I really didn't meet any of you until SEMP and after. If it was a change in me that made me feel like a part of the group, then it seems like we can be as free of cliques as possible and still not have everyone feel like they are a part of the group.
Ok all of the thoughts above are so disorganized it makes me tired...I am glad we can discuss "cliques", and they are a problem. This is a great post Sharilyn and I understand you are humbly trying to understand this problem. I am sorry for offending you Caroline, and I appreciate your scriptural wisdom on the subject. I guess this whole cliques thing is kind of a pet peeve of mine because of my own experience. I never thought of the youth as a clique but changing my own attitude and actions is how I came to feel a part of the group. I guess for others it is different, and we should bend over backwards to make others feel welcome, accepted, and like we are interested in them, and having them as a part of our group. Please forgive me for giving you guys any of the wrong ideas. I really appreciate the way you guys handled my rough comment.
Wow, you're up late too. (I'm hoping I'll be able to think during my presentation tomorrow, gulp...and by tomorrow I mean today!) I totally forgive you for what you think may have given me the wrong ideas, Josh. But it has definitely given me a whole lot more to think about in terms of "cliques" and all that other stuff too. I think these types of discussions are actually really helpful for me because they seem to challenge me to live out my faith in a way that I sometimes don't even consider (if that makes any sense whatsoever).
I think I should also ask for everyone's forgiveness. If I may have seemed to be too harsh or too blunt (or whatever I seemed like), I am sorry. I only meant to address the issue, and I didn't mean to offend anybody or anything like that. I know the topic of "cliques" has definitely come about in quite a few of my conversations recently, even today.
Well, I guess I really should get to bed now. Good night.
don't worry Josh, your first comment was as helpful as the rest. and by that, meaning they all were. Thanks for everyone who commented. I enjoyed reading everyones thoughts on the topic.
PRAISE THE LORD - AWESOME POST SHARILYN!!!!
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